Men in white Tights
Men in tights is a classic that has accompanied me my whole life. Thank you Mel Brooks.
This is a poor segue into my topic but there it is. Gotta stand by your choices.
Men wearing whitey tightness have gotten a slap on the fingers under the argument that they cause problems with sperm quality. It seems to be a difficult topic for us, understandably so. As our social expectations are changing the image of “the man” in many areas, men are facing an uncertainty about the definition of manhood. How do I get there? What is expected of me? What are my own expectations of myself to assure the boy in me that I have made it? At age 31 these are some of the questions I have asked myself in the last 15 years.
Today I want to talk about sex and masculinity.
My wife and I tried to, first passively and then actively, conceive for four years before it finally happened. Acupuncture played a big role for me when I was faced with the fact that my sperm quality was sub par. Low count of normal sperm (one head and one tail), poor motility (actively moving towards a goal) and a low but within range total count. I was reluctant to do an analysis for a while. I did not want to face the idea that a medical intervention was necessary. However, after I got my results I felt liberated in the knowledge that something needed to be done. It was not an easy acceptance but it was a place to start and a direction towards a goal that seemed achievable.
This was great news I slowly realized. The problem “why aren’t we getting pregnant” that had amounted to bizarrely taxing stress in an otherwise healthy sex life finally had a way of venting. I had found a path of action that I, myself, could walk. I am part of the problem, bare minimum 50% of it because the sperm is no good. I quickly started hoping that I was 100% of the problem, because it would mean that I can reach this new goal and finally give her what she wants so desperately. Of course we had talked about an IUI and IVF. And all that in our mid-20’s, which at this point just blows my mind.
Are you in the same position? Does you sex life suffer under the pressure expectation and disappointment? For her it’s about the baby, for us it’s about her! (Yes, that will change the moment you hold your baby in your arms, but you’ll get there).